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Fix What Isn't Working |09.22.24| Re-Assembly Required pt.1
September 22, 2024
Romans 12:9-18
Pastor Drew Williams
I was talking with a good friend this week about a conflict they were having with a family member, and then they said it, “It’s hard to be a Christian sometimes.”
They said that, because the conflict was making them WANT to act very NOT Christian-like. And I’m sure all of you have felt that before, right?
[SLIDE 2] lower third blank
One of the pastors that I learn a lot from is Andy Stanley, and he tells about a time when he was in counseling with his father, and they were just…stuck. And the way Andy tells it is just so relatable:
[SLIDE 3-4]
“My dad saw things HIS way, and I saw things the RIGHT way.”
And he couldn’t figure out why they weren’t making progress. “Dad, if you just see things MY way, then we’ll be on OUR way!”
And you might be laughing right now because you’re thinking, “Finally, someone who understands me!”
Because isn’t it true whenever we’re facing conflict with someone that if they would just see it YOUR way…everything would be okay?
[SLIDE 5]
That’s why, for the next few weeks, we’ll be addressing a question that many of you have been asking: “What is wrong with these people?!”
[SLIDE 6]
So we’re starting a new message series entitled “How to Get People to See Things Your Way.” And I promise this will be a super practical series. You can use these methods with anyone.
[SLIDE 7] lower third blank
This will work to convince your HS student that earth science is important, even when they hate earth science, because you’ll be able to show them that getting a good grade in earth science will allow them to attend a better college, and THAT in turn will help them get a better career so that they can make more money so that they will be able to better take care of YOU later on!
These tools will be so practical that they will help you convince your mom or your MIL to not glance around the house with that quiet look of judgment every time she comes over, and that way you can actually have her over more without the passive aggressive comments.
And, as we’ll see in this series, in order to get someone to see things your way, and better yet, in order to get them to apologize for how wrong they’ve been… (I know, I know, FINALLY something practical) … you have to master relationship MANAGEMENT. Because, we all know that people NEED to be managed.
[SLIDE 8]
So, I was so appreciative to find out that Pastor Andy Stanley had developed what he called the C4 Approach to Relationship Management. And, I assure you, it’s completely a coincidence that C4 is also the term for a powerful explosive.
But the thing you need to realize about the C4 Approach to Rel Man is that this doesn’t bring people TOGETHER, because that requires compromise and all that. No, this method brings people towards YOU and your way of thinking, and if it’s done right, they won’t even realize that it’s happening to them.
[SLIDE 9]
So, to introduce you to the C4 Approach, we have to learn the 4 C’s: Convince, Convict, Coerce, Control. Go ahead and say those with me…
Again, I think some of you are laughing because you’re doubting that I’m serious, but if you doubt the effectiveness of the C4 Approach, just consider how effective these have been in bringing our nation together…
The way to manage other people and get them to follow your view is to Convince, Convict, Coerce, and Control. But you’ve got to be careful NOT to share this with anyone, especially not the people you’re hoping to change, because the main thing that is wrong with them is that THEY think YOU’RE the problem…!
And if you tell them about the 4 C’s, they might try to use them on you, and you might end up moving towards THEIR view. Because, we can see how EFFECTIVE this is. THIS is the way forward, right?
Wrong! We KNOW this isn’t the way forward. These methods don’t work on you, or me, or anyone else. But, for some reason, we still reach for these 4 C’s first, don’t we? And they usually make things worse. They DON’T heal anything. They don’t cause people to grow or become better versions of themselves.
[SLIDE 10-11]
And even when people are trying to be diplomatic, they STILL end up using these methods. Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m sorry IF I offended you…”
That’s actually a controlling statement because the translation is “You’re too EASILY offended…because what I said wouldn’t have offended most people.”
[SLIDE 12-13]
Or, have you heard someone say, “I said I’m sorry, why are you STILL upset?”
That’s convicting or coercing language, because what they actually meant was, “I’ve done MY part. You should be FINE now…
…Since you’re not fine, clearly something is wrong with YOU.”
And even though we know these 4 C’s don’t work, we keep reaching for them. Meanwhile, the others around us can clearly see that the relationship is broken. And it’s usually the people around us that can see how small the conflict actually is.
[SLIDE 14] blank
How many of you, when you were growing up, knew about an estranged uncle, or cousin? Someone who you know you’re related to, but who isn’t around hardly ever, and when you finally find out what happened to cause the rift in your family, you think, “That’s silly! Just call her! Just talk to him!”
But instead, the people in the conflict choose to just keep up the “holiday avoidance dance.” → “When are THEY coming? / How long are they staying?”
… “Oh, I’m sorry, but we can’t stay that long…we don’t want to overlap too much with their time…” for the 17th year in a row. Bummer, we can’t seem to make the schedules line up!
And even when you’re at an event where you can’t avoid them: you know, the graduation or the wedding, everyone seems to be practicing eye-avoidance. It’s uncanny how both groups can spend hours in the same party without ever “seeing” each other.
Until some tragedy happens. And then you’re both at the hospital. Or you’re at the funeral. It’s highly emotional, and in the face of the tragedy, this huge mountain of conflict seems smaller, and smaller, and smaller.
And it’s in those moments that people DO and SAY what they SHOULD have done and said…a long time ago. And that’s why we’re actually starting a message series called “ReAssembly Required.”
[SLIDE 15]
Because all of us have relationships in our life that we wish were better. That we wish we could fix or heal. And if we don’t learn how to, we’ll end up missing out on YEARS of relationship that could be happening now. And we don’t want to wait until the tragedy causes us to come back together.
And you might be wondering why we’re talking about this in church?
[SLIDE 16]
Well, it’s because I have run out of topics. Just kidding. We’re talking about this, because here at New Life, we’re learning how to be apprentices of Jesus in every area of our lives. We’re practicing Jesus’ way of life so that we can be transformed to become more like Jesus in how we think, feel, and…act.
[SLIDE 17] ref
And, as followers of Jesus, we don’t actually have a choice with whether or not to work towards healing relationships. Our main passage that we’ll be looking at today is in Romans ch 12, which can be found on p124 of the NT in the black, seat-back Bibles.
[SLIDE 18] vv1-2
And this is the chapter that starts with the very famous statement about “presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice,” because that’s our way of worshiping God in response to the mercy he has shown us. And it encourages us not to be CONFORMED to the ways of the world around us, but to allow God to TRANSFORM us to become more like Jesus. And then it tells us what this looks like:
[ROMANS 12:9-18]
[SLIDE 19] v9
Because of God’s mercy, let’s worship God and let him transform us. So we’re called to LOVE, but not in a fake or fickle way. Not just when we’re on good terms with those around us. We’re encouraged to “let love be genuine.” Without pretense, literally, it means let love be without play-acting. Don’t fake your loving behavior. CLING to what is good.
[SLIDE 20] vv10-11
“Love one another with mutual affection, and OUTDO one another, LEAD THE WAY with showing honor.”
Don’t HESITATE with enthusiasm, but be ardent – be STIRRED UP in your spirit – so that you can serve the Lord, be SUBJECT TO the Lord.
But just know, this isn’t a list of “do this because you’re SUPPOSED to, or else…” Remember how this section started: “Because of God’s mercy…”
God has already pressed in towards you. God has already made a way for you to experience healing and hope and joy and growth. So, based on THAT, here’s how you GET TO respond.
[SLIDE 21] vv12-13
Be glad in hope, hold your ground in suffering, be DEVOTED TO prayer. Keep yourself busily engaged with prayer.
Because if God has already made the way to come towards you, and now he’s beckoning you to follow him so that you can heal and grow and experience joy in following his way of life, you’d think that you’d want to HOLD ON to him through everything that comes.
Because following God doesn’t mean life gets easy. It means that life isn’t LONELY anymore. It means that WHEN you have hope, you can be glad in it because God is with you.
WHEN you experience tough times and suffering, you can HOLD ON to God to get through it. WHEN you experience everything in life, you’ve got a direct line to the creator of the universe through prayer, so you don’t need to try and survive alone.
And when you realize that you’ve got God who you can depend on, it allows you to live differently. So give to the needs of the servants of God, AND pursue hospitality to strangers. Look for ways to bless people you don’t even know.
[SLIDE 22] vv14-16
And HOW do you practice hospitality? Verses 14-16 give us examples.
Bless others, EVEN IF they curse you. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. In other words, practicing hospitality can mean entering in to the space and experience of someone else and just BEING with them in their experience. Step towards them.
And you don’t have to be arrogant, you don’t have to be a social climber just to get ahead. You’re already brought in to the family of God, who else do you need to get ahead of? Instead, associate with the lowly. Be okay with accommodating to people in more modest situations than you. Be okay with simplifying your life so that you can rub elbows with people who might think they are alone at the bottom.
You used to be there. You’ve felt that before. And God stepped DOWN into your situation, didn’t leave you alone there, and is in the process of healing you and helping you grow. So now we can do the same for others!
[SLIDE 23] v17
Don’t repay evil with evil, because life isn’t all roses all of a sudden. There will still be awful things you’ll face. There will still be evil situations you need to overcome with God’s help.
But, BECAUSE you have God’s help, you don’t need to “get back” at anyone. It’s not needed anymore. Because of God at work in your life. So instead, choose the good and beautiful ways to react. Choose the response that makes others stop and say, “Wow, that’s different. That feels like goodness.”
[SLIDE 24] v18
And in all of these things, remember that you CAN’T control others. We already know that convince, convict, coerce, control doesn’t work. So, “as far as it depends on YOU…” As much as you are able to decide YOUR own actions, your own responses, live at peace with those around you. MAKE peace with those around you. Choose to act in the Way of Jesus. Because of how Jesus has acted towards you.
[SLIDE 25] blank
And what I DON’T want you to come away with is to think that I just gave you a new list of burdensome jobs that you HAVE to do. Being a follower of Jesus isn’t about “well you’d better act better now.”
That’s too hard. I’m not strong enough. Remember what my friend said earlier this week? Being a Christian is hard.
But the good news is that it’s not up to us. Living like Jesus isn’t something that we try and muscle through with our own power. It’s not something that we try to exert more EFFORT with. It’s not something that we’d “better do”, and if we mess up, then we’d “better pretend.”
[SLIDE 26] 2cor 5:17 nlt
Look at how Paul says it in this other letter, in 2 Corinthians. This is actually the theme verse of our whole church: “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
That means that even when you FEEL like you haven’t changed that much, being claimed by Jesus means that you’re actually ABLE to act differently now!
[SLIDE 27] v18-19
And this is all a GIFT. Not something we earn. God has done all the hard work. God has reconciled us to him. God has invited us into the work of reconciling others.
[SLIDE 28] v20-21
And now we GET to be God’s ambassadors, his messengers. We get to tell others that God wants to heal THEM too.
It’s a gift. Jesus took the payment for our guilt. All the ways we have and will continue to mess up — Jesus paid it in full, so that we could learn how to live the way God created us for in the first place.
[SLIDE 29] blank
The good news of God is that forgiveness isn’t the whole story. Forgiveness is only HALF of the equation.
And we know this, because we can forgive someone without that actually changing anything between us. That’s because forgiveness is way easier than reconciling. We can forgive without ever even ATTEMPTING to reconcile.
Because when we forgive, we hold all the cards. We hold all the control. “Well, because I want to be the bigger person, I’m going to forgive them. But, no, I’m not going to give in to their demands.”
Reconciliation is harder because we have to give up something to move towards someone else. It takes submission and vulnerability. And that’s hard. That can feel TOO hard, when we try and rely on our own power.
[SLIDE 30] know
But the good news of God is that he wasn’t content to MERELY forgive you.
God’s forgiveness was a means to an end. God’s forgiveness removed the obstacle that was standing in the way of your relationship with him: sin. God’s forgiveness took care of that guilt, that blockage.
But he wasn’t done yet! He didn’t just turn us loose. Once that obstacle was taken care of, God KEPT GOING to repair our relationship with him.
[SLIDE 31] 2cor5:21
God came to us in the person of Jesus to take away the penalty of our sin, SO THAT we could be made right with God.
And when we want to learn the proven path for repairing our relationships with others, we can follow Jesus’ way. Because he’s already cleared the obstacle through forgiveness, and kept going to reassemble our relationship with God.
So, on the basis of God’s mercy, because he’s already done that with us, we now GET TO begin that process with others. And sure, it’s hard, but we don’t do it alone.
[SLIDE 32] do
And so the first step to repairing a broken relationship is to fix what isn’t working.
It doesn’t work to Convince others to see our side. It doesn’t work to Convict others of how THEY’VE messed up too. It doesn’t work to Coerce others and manipulate them. It doesn’t work to try and Control others.
[SLIDE 33] blank
The first step is to fix the way WE try to do those things. The first step is to STOP trying to do those things. The first step is to let God work in OUR hearts to fix us.
When I have a broken relationship, the way I act and try to fix THEM isn’t working. I’m what isn’t working.
But God has reached out to me. God has given me mercy and forgiveness. God has begun to work in my heart to bring healing. And God has committed to KEEP GOING with me along this journey so that I can continue to grow and heal and be transformed to become more and more like Jesus in how I think, in how I feel, and in how I act.
And it can be a long process sometimes, but God never gives up. And because I didn’t earn that – Because it’s a gift, and he just keeps showing me love and grace – well, it makes it more possible for me to share that love and grace with others. Even the others who have hurt me. Even the others who have broken trust with me.
It’s a process, but the first step is to fix what isn’t working, and to allow God to work in MY heart, so that I can then make that step towards reconciling with others, because THAT’S the mission we’re invited into as the family of God.
We GET to work towards forgiveness and healed relationships, because God has started that work in us.
We GET to share love and forgiveness with people who don’t deserve it, even people we don’t know very well, because God has done all the work of bringing us back to himself through Jesus.
We GET to show the world how brokenness isn’t forever, because we follow the One who can heal and repair and restore ANYTHING.
So let’s say yes to God today. Let’s take that step of allowing God to reconcile to us. Whether you’ve never done that before, or whether you’ve been following Jesus your whole life, God is STILL reaching out to you.
So let’s receive God’s grace again TODAY. Let’s give up trying to control everything around us. And let’s choose to share the forgiveness AND the willingness to reconcile, because of what God has done and is continuing to do through Jesus at work in our lives. Amen?
Pastor Drew Williams
I was talking with a good friend this week about a conflict they were having with a family member, and then they said it, “It’s hard to be a Christian sometimes.”
They said that, because the conflict was making them WANT to act very NOT Christian-like. And I’m sure all of you have felt that before, right?
[SLIDE 2] lower third blank
One of the pastors that I learn a lot from is Andy Stanley, and he tells about a time when he was in counseling with his father, and they were just…stuck. And the way Andy tells it is just so relatable:
[SLIDE 3-4]
“My dad saw things HIS way, and I saw things the RIGHT way.”
And he couldn’t figure out why they weren’t making progress. “Dad, if you just see things MY way, then we’ll be on OUR way!”
And you might be laughing right now because you’re thinking, “Finally, someone who understands me!”
Because isn’t it true whenever we’re facing conflict with someone that if they would just see it YOUR way…everything would be okay?
[SLIDE 5]
That’s why, for the next few weeks, we’ll be addressing a question that many of you have been asking: “What is wrong with these people?!”
[SLIDE 6]
So we’re starting a new message series entitled “How to Get People to See Things Your Way.” And I promise this will be a super practical series. You can use these methods with anyone.
[SLIDE 7] lower third blank
This will work to convince your HS student that earth science is important, even when they hate earth science, because you’ll be able to show them that getting a good grade in earth science will allow them to attend a better college, and THAT in turn will help them get a better career so that they can make more money so that they will be able to better take care of YOU later on!
These tools will be so practical that they will help you convince your mom or your MIL to not glance around the house with that quiet look of judgment every time she comes over, and that way you can actually have her over more without the passive aggressive comments.
And, as we’ll see in this series, in order to get someone to see things your way, and better yet, in order to get them to apologize for how wrong they’ve been… (I know, I know, FINALLY something practical) … you have to master relationship MANAGEMENT. Because, we all know that people NEED to be managed.
[SLIDE 8]
So, I was so appreciative to find out that Pastor Andy Stanley had developed what he called the C4 Approach to Relationship Management. And, I assure you, it’s completely a coincidence that C4 is also the term for a powerful explosive.
But the thing you need to realize about the C4 Approach to Rel Man is that this doesn’t bring people TOGETHER, because that requires compromise and all that. No, this method brings people towards YOU and your way of thinking, and if it’s done right, they won’t even realize that it’s happening to them.
[SLIDE 9]
So, to introduce you to the C4 Approach, we have to learn the 4 C’s: Convince, Convict, Coerce, Control. Go ahead and say those with me…
Again, I think some of you are laughing because you’re doubting that I’m serious, but if you doubt the effectiveness of the C4 Approach, just consider how effective these have been in bringing our nation together…
The way to manage other people and get them to follow your view is to Convince, Convict, Coerce, and Control. But you’ve got to be careful NOT to share this with anyone, especially not the people you’re hoping to change, because the main thing that is wrong with them is that THEY think YOU’RE the problem…!
And if you tell them about the 4 C’s, they might try to use them on you, and you might end up moving towards THEIR view. Because, we can see how EFFECTIVE this is. THIS is the way forward, right?
Wrong! We KNOW this isn’t the way forward. These methods don’t work on you, or me, or anyone else. But, for some reason, we still reach for these 4 C’s first, don’t we? And they usually make things worse. They DON’T heal anything. They don’t cause people to grow or become better versions of themselves.
[SLIDE 10-11]
And even when people are trying to be diplomatic, they STILL end up using these methods. Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m sorry IF I offended you…”
That’s actually a controlling statement because the translation is “You’re too EASILY offended…because what I said wouldn’t have offended most people.”
[SLIDE 12-13]
Or, have you heard someone say, “I said I’m sorry, why are you STILL upset?”
That’s convicting or coercing language, because what they actually meant was, “I’ve done MY part. You should be FINE now…
…Since you’re not fine, clearly something is wrong with YOU.”
And even though we know these 4 C’s don’t work, we keep reaching for them. Meanwhile, the others around us can clearly see that the relationship is broken. And it’s usually the people around us that can see how small the conflict actually is.
[SLIDE 14] blank
How many of you, when you were growing up, knew about an estranged uncle, or cousin? Someone who you know you’re related to, but who isn’t around hardly ever, and when you finally find out what happened to cause the rift in your family, you think, “That’s silly! Just call her! Just talk to him!”
But instead, the people in the conflict choose to just keep up the “holiday avoidance dance.” → “When are THEY coming? / How long are they staying?”
… “Oh, I’m sorry, but we can’t stay that long…we don’t want to overlap too much with their time…” for the 17th year in a row. Bummer, we can’t seem to make the schedules line up!
And even when you’re at an event where you can’t avoid them: you know, the graduation or the wedding, everyone seems to be practicing eye-avoidance. It’s uncanny how both groups can spend hours in the same party without ever “seeing” each other.
Until some tragedy happens. And then you’re both at the hospital. Or you’re at the funeral. It’s highly emotional, and in the face of the tragedy, this huge mountain of conflict seems smaller, and smaller, and smaller.
And it’s in those moments that people DO and SAY what they SHOULD have done and said…a long time ago. And that’s why we’re actually starting a message series called “ReAssembly Required.”
[SLIDE 15]
Because all of us have relationships in our life that we wish were better. That we wish we could fix or heal. And if we don’t learn how to, we’ll end up missing out on YEARS of relationship that could be happening now. And we don’t want to wait until the tragedy causes us to come back together.
And you might be wondering why we’re talking about this in church?
[SLIDE 16]
Well, it’s because I have run out of topics. Just kidding. We’re talking about this, because here at New Life, we’re learning how to be apprentices of Jesus in every area of our lives. We’re practicing Jesus’ way of life so that we can be transformed to become more like Jesus in how we think, feel, and…act.
[SLIDE 17] ref
And, as followers of Jesus, we don’t actually have a choice with whether or not to work towards healing relationships. Our main passage that we’ll be looking at today is in Romans ch 12, which can be found on p124 of the NT in the black, seat-back Bibles.
[SLIDE 18] vv1-2
And this is the chapter that starts with the very famous statement about “presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice,” because that’s our way of worshiping God in response to the mercy he has shown us. And it encourages us not to be CONFORMED to the ways of the world around us, but to allow God to TRANSFORM us to become more like Jesus. And then it tells us what this looks like:
[ROMANS 12:9-18]
[SLIDE 19] v9
Because of God’s mercy, let’s worship God and let him transform us. So we’re called to LOVE, but not in a fake or fickle way. Not just when we’re on good terms with those around us. We’re encouraged to “let love be genuine.” Without pretense, literally, it means let love be without play-acting. Don’t fake your loving behavior. CLING to what is good.
[SLIDE 20] vv10-11
“Love one another with mutual affection, and OUTDO one another, LEAD THE WAY with showing honor.”
Don’t HESITATE with enthusiasm, but be ardent – be STIRRED UP in your spirit – so that you can serve the Lord, be SUBJECT TO the Lord.
But just know, this isn’t a list of “do this because you’re SUPPOSED to, or else…” Remember how this section started: “Because of God’s mercy…”
God has already pressed in towards you. God has already made a way for you to experience healing and hope and joy and growth. So, based on THAT, here’s how you GET TO respond.
[SLIDE 21] vv12-13
Be glad in hope, hold your ground in suffering, be DEVOTED TO prayer. Keep yourself busily engaged with prayer.
Because if God has already made the way to come towards you, and now he’s beckoning you to follow him so that you can heal and grow and experience joy in following his way of life, you’d think that you’d want to HOLD ON to him through everything that comes.
Because following God doesn’t mean life gets easy. It means that life isn’t LONELY anymore. It means that WHEN you have hope, you can be glad in it because God is with you.
WHEN you experience tough times and suffering, you can HOLD ON to God to get through it. WHEN you experience everything in life, you’ve got a direct line to the creator of the universe through prayer, so you don’t need to try and survive alone.
And when you realize that you’ve got God who you can depend on, it allows you to live differently. So give to the needs of the servants of God, AND pursue hospitality to strangers. Look for ways to bless people you don’t even know.
[SLIDE 22] vv14-16
And HOW do you practice hospitality? Verses 14-16 give us examples.
Bless others, EVEN IF they curse you. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. In other words, practicing hospitality can mean entering in to the space and experience of someone else and just BEING with them in their experience. Step towards them.
And you don’t have to be arrogant, you don’t have to be a social climber just to get ahead. You’re already brought in to the family of God, who else do you need to get ahead of? Instead, associate with the lowly. Be okay with accommodating to people in more modest situations than you. Be okay with simplifying your life so that you can rub elbows with people who might think they are alone at the bottom.
You used to be there. You’ve felt that before. And God stepped DOWN into your situation, didn’t leave you alone there, and is in the process of healing you and helping you grow. So now we can do the same for others!
[SLIDE 23] v17
Don’t repay evil with evil, because life isn’t all roses all of a sudden. There will still be awful things you’ll face. There will still be evil situations you need to overcome with God’s help.
But, BECAUSE you have God’s help, you don’t need to “get back” at anyone. It’s not needed anymore. Because of God at work in your life. So instead, choose the good and beautiful ways to react. Choose the response that makes others stop and say, “Wow, that’s different. That feels like goodness.”
[SLIDE 24] v18
And in all of these things, remember that you CAN’T control others. We already know that convince, convict, coerce, control doesn’t work. So, “as far as it depends on YOU…” As much as you are able to decide YOUR own actions, your own responses, live at peace with those around you. MAKE peace with those around you. Choose to act in the Way of Jesus. Because of how Jesus has acted towards you.
[SLIDE 25] blank
And what I DON’T want you to come away with is to think that I just gave you a new list of burdensome jobs that you HAVE to do. Being a follower of Jesus isn’t about “well you’d better act better now.”
That’s too hard. I’m not strong enough. Remember what my friend said earlier this week? Being a Christian is hard.
But the good news is that it’s not up to us. Living like Jesus isn’t something that we try and muscle through with our own power. It’s not something that we try to exert more EFFORT with. It’s not something that we’d “better do”, and if we mess up, then we’d “better pretend.”
[SLIDE 26] 2cor 5:17 nlt
Look at how Paul says it in this other letter, in 2 Corinthians. This is actually the theme verse of our whole church: “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
That means that even when you FEEL like you haven’t changed that much, being claimed by Jesus means that you’re actually ABLE to act differently now!
[SLIDE 27] v18-19
And this is all a GIFT. Not something we earn. God has done all the hard work. God has reconciled us to him. God has invited us into the work of reconciling others.
[SLIDE 28] v20-21
And now we GET to be God’s ambassadors, his messengers. We get to tell others that God wants to heal THEM too.
It’s a gift. Jesus took the payment for our guilt. All the ways we have and will continue to mess up — Jesus paid it in full, so that we could learn how to live the way God created us for in the first place.
[SLIDE 29] blank
The good news of God is that forgiveness isn’t the whole story. Forgiveness is only HALF of the equation.
And we know this, because we can forgive someone without that actually changing anything between us. That’s because forgiveness is way easier than reconciling. We can forgive without ever even ATTEMPTING to reconcile.
Because when we forgive, we hold all the cards. We hold all the control. “Well, because I want to be the bigger person, I’m going to forgive them. But, no, I’m not going to give in to their demands.”
Reconciliation is harder because we have to give up something to move towards someone else. It takes submission and vulnerability. And that’s hard. That can feel TOO hard, when we try and rely on our own power.
[SLIDE 30] know
But the good news of God is that he wasn’t content to MERELY forgive you.
God’s forgiveness was a means to an end. God’s forgiveness removed the obstacle that was standing in the way of your relationship with him: sin. God’s forgiveness took care of that guilt, that blockage.
But he wasn’t done yet! He didn’t just turn us loose. Once that obstacle was taken care of, God KEPT GOING to repair our relationship with him.
[SLIDE 31] 2cor5:21
God came to us in the person of Jesus to take away the penalty of our sin, SO THAT we could be made right with God.
And when we want to learn the proven path for repairing our relationships with others, we can follow Jesus’ way. Because he’s already cleared the obstacle through forgiveness, and kept going to reassemble our relationship with God.
So, on the basis of God’s mercy, because he’s already done that with us, we now GET TO begin that process with others. And sure, it’s hard, but we don’t do it alone.
[SLIDE 32] do
And so the first step to repairing a broken relationship is to fix what isn’t working.
It doesn’t work to Convince others to see our side. It doesn’t work to Convict others of how THEY’VE messed up too. It doesn’t work to Coerce others and manipulate them. It doesn’t work to try and Control others.
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The first step is to fix the way WE try to do those things. The first step is to STOP trying to do those things. The first step is to let God work in OUR hearts to fix us.
When I have a broken relationship, the way I act and try to fix THEM isn’t working. I’m what isn’t working.
But God has reached out to me. God has given me mercy and forgiveness. God has begun to work in my heart to bring healing. And God has committed to KEEP GOING with me along this journey so that I can continue to grow and heal and be transformed to become more and more like Jesus in how I think, in how I feel, and in how I act.
And it can be a long process sometimes, but God never gives up. And because I didn’t earn that – Because it’s a gift, and he just keeps showing me love and grace – well, it makes it more possible for me to share that love and grace with others. Even the others who have hurt me. Even the others who have broken trust with me.
It’s a process, but the first step is to fix what isn’t working, and to allow God to work in MY heart, so that I can then make that step towards reconciling with others, because THAT’S the mission we’re invited into as the family of God.
We GET to work towards forgiveness and healed relationships, because God has started that work in us.
We GET to share love and forgiveness with people who don’t deserve it, even people we don’t know very well, because God has done all the work of bringing us back to himself through Jesus.
We GET to show the world how brokenness isn’t forever, because we follow the One who can heal and repair and restore ANYTHING.
So let’s say yes to God today. Let’s take that step of allowing God to reconcile to us. Whether you’ve never done that before, or whether you’ve been following Jesus your whole life, God is STILL reaching out to you.
So let’s receive God’s grace again TODAY. Let’s give up trying to control everything around us. And let’s choose to share the forgiveness AND the willingness to reconcile, because of what God has done and is continuing to do through Jesus at work in our lives. Amen?